When I go out with students, they almost always feel intimidated by the club. They have this impression that they need to accomplish a ton of stuff, as if a nightclub or bar is field of performance. The reality is, it’s just a big room full of people drinking, and loosening up after working all week. There’s no goal, and no one is expecting you to accomplish any great feats.
Instead of going out with a mountain of goals, or some complex strategy designed to get you every hot girl in the place, make it easy on yourself. If women can tell you know how to make a girl come, they will “come” to you.
Go early – not 9pm early, but no later than 11pm. In NYC, that’s pretty early, as most places close at 4am. But I’ve noticed that when I get there early, it’s easier to talk to people. As the night goes on, you gradually meet more and more people; by the time the place is packed, you’ve met almost everyone in the place.
Keep it short and simple
I’ve found that it’s easier to talk to guys at first. You don’t look like you’re there to pickup women, and most guys are happy to have someone to talk to, because they want to be social too (most guys are just timid when it comes to socializing). The way to talk to guys is easy – keep it short and simple. Don’t go up to a guy with some elaborate opener, or go on and on about his cool fashion style (I’ve heard pickup “experts” suggest this).
Sports is a good topic if there was a game recently. You can also ask guys if this is a good place to meet girls. Basically, make sure you don’t come off gay, and don’t talk too much. Talk to women too – tell them they look cute! This is my favorite thing to do when I first walk into a place – I tell a couple women they look cute, smile, and then keep moving. I don’t look like a pushy pickup artist, and if I see them later, I can just introduce myself and they’ll be more receptive.
Smile and laugh
The most attractive thing you can do is look happy. This is more important than any line you say, how well you are dressed, etc. Everyone in a bar or club is scoping the room. We are social animals, and we are always looking at others to see who looks friendly, attractive, interesting, etc. When women see you laughing and smiling, they will see you as warm, happy, confident, social, etc. Don’t be the guy on the wall looking tough.
The best type of conversation you can have when you go out is one that generates laughter and good feelings. Keep your conversations light and positive. Make jokes, and smile when you talk to people. A lot of times, you’ll talk to people who are rude, boring, etc. Don’t let it get to you – keep smiling. Don’t walk around with a cheese grin, just look happy. If you’ve laid the foundation of talking to more and more people from the beginning, you’ll be in the “zone” after an hour or so. If you’re drinking, that will help even more, as long as you don’t overdo it.
Where you position yourself is very important if you are looking to optimize your chances of meeting women. The best places are at the corner of the bar, near the entrance, or near the women’s bathroom. These are high traffic areas, where women will be walking past. I never get bottle service or hang out in VIP because then all you meet are the people in that section (and most of them are douchebags and stuck up girls).
The party is in the crowd. Mix it up and talk to people. Trust me that women notice which guys are social and happy, and which guys are trying to pickup, or stand around and look tough. Make it easy on yourself – go early, before everyone is wasted – and talk to whomever you can. Keep it positive, smile, laugh, and give women simple easy compliments. Don’t rush – you can always go back and introduce yourself. When you do it this way, women are much more receptive to you!